October 17 , 2004

Diploma or No Diploma, That is the Question

Good Heavens, I can hardly believe it. I am finally officially graduated! I came home from work the other day and there was an envelope on my front porch. The envelope was a nice one, the kind with the "do not bend" sticker. I was sure that I was going to open it and find another letter that said, "Sorry, but once again you really didn't graduate."

If you are one of the few people that I have not complained to about my graduation woes, here's a short [only short in comparison to actual events, I have found this summary is still quite long. Feel free to stop reading now] recap:

I was planning on graduating from the University of Utah in May. I met with the counselors, I turned in all of the appropriate stuff and everyone told me that as long as I passed all of my classes spring semester that I should be good to go.

May 5th rolled around, everything was in order. I walked across the floor of the Huntsman Center in my little cap and gown and received the diploma holder that says on the inside, basically, "You'll get your diploma in 30-90 days unless you didn't pass one of your classes." I was happy. I got my picture taken in my little outfit. I smiled a lot and felt happy that I had completed four years of college.

In the following weeks I received two envelopes in the mail. The first contained the a $12 picture of me, proudly displaying my diploma case. The second was a letter from the U. telling me that I was one credit short of graduation.

Is that not the nightmare of every college student--tinking you've graduated and then finding out you're one credit short? That it's not really over? I was living thenightmare!

I wasn't really a credit short. Due to a computer error (that everyone could see), ne of the classes I had taken wasn't showing up on my transcript. Here's some of the stuff I had to go through to get one credit straightened out in a mere 5- ½ months:

PHASE I-Operation Grade Change

Problem: I didn't receive credit for an internship that I completed. I looked at my grades after they were posted on the internet. Next to my internship class I saw a "NC," no credit. Whah? I emailed the counselor. She said she had never received my final paper. Hmm, that's weird since I handed it in directly to her.

Solution: I emailed her a copy of the final paper.

Problem: She had also lost the supervisor review I had turned in. "Can you just get another one, and then fax it over to me?" She asked. From LoveSac, the least responsible/responsive company in the world? Yeah right.

Solution: I used my friend and co-intern Lindsay's LoveSac email address to send the counselor an email praising my outstanding performance as an intern.

Problem: After the grade was changed, the computer was registering my internship as a repeated course, instead of new course-making me a credit shy of graduation.

I talked to the graduation department, who didn't want to help me and sent me back to the COMM department. The COMM department didn't really want to help me, either. Their suggestion: just take one more credit. What? Pay another $600 and go to school for another four months of school when I've already taken the course? I don't think so!

Solution: I was able to talk to the Dean of Students in the COMM department. He said, "That doesn't make any sense." He sounded like he could get it fixed for me.

Problem: He couldn't. He said there was some sort of University policy and "if we change it for you then we'd have to change it for everybody." He made it sound like in order to get my grade changed I was going to have to lobby to the state legislature or something, or that there was some secret alarm that would be sounded if my grade was changed and then all sorts of students would be beating down the doors of administration, all wanting the same treatment.

Solution: He said I could submit a petition requesting that the title of my internship class be changed from Mass COMM to Speech COMM, so the computer wouldn't reject it.

PHASE II-Oh, Won't You Please Sign a Petition?

I went through the process of filling out the petition paperwork-I had to:
1. Write a letter explaining why/how I thought I had been screwed
2. Get a letter from the dean attesting to the fact that I had been screwed and
3. Include any other information that may prove that I was screwed.

Problem: I could had the first and third criteria, but I needed a letter from the dean.

Solution: The guy was really nice and got it all written for me. The only catch: In these modern times, with files so easily transported electronically, it was my privilege to drive 30 minutes to the U. during my lunch break, walk to the Communication building, pick up the letter, walk it to the administration building, walk back to my car and drive 30 minutes back to work. It was very efficient! The U. wouldn't want to waste all that time and energy just emailing the file from one office to the other.

I had to wait a few weeks for my petition to be approved. The graduation office sent me a letter that said I now needed to have my instructor assign me a grade.

Problem: I didn't really take a Speech COMM class, so how would my instructor give me a new grade?

Solution: Fortunately, my advisor was able to submit a grade change for me.

I thought that was the end of it. The grade would be submitted and I would get a diploma in the mail. No such luck.

Problem: I received another letter a few weeks later from the petition people saying that I could no longer get one credit for the Speech COMM class because that class was only offered as a 3-6 credit course. They were going to switch that course to Grad Student Speech COMM Therapy or something outrageous like that because that was a one credit course. To do that, I would need to a get a supervisor to submit a grade change.

Solution: I had to ask my advisor to submit a grade change for the third time in one semester.

Would I get my diploma now? No. More Waiting.

The Waiting Game, Something I've Grown So Accustomed To

How's this for logic? Though I finished all of my coursework [including credit for this mysterious Spech COMM class] during spring semester, the graduation office decided that my graduation date would have to be pushed back to summer semester. This meant that I would have to wait until August 6--the end of summer semester--before they would even look to see if I now met all of the graduation requirements. If I met the requirements, I would just have to wait 30-90 days after the end of the semester to get a diploma. I figured that meant that at the latest I would probably see my diploma in December. Not bad, for someone who should have graduated May 5.

In early September, I called the graduation office to see if they had sent out diplomas yet. The girl replied, "Umm, some of them."

I asked her if she was able to tell me if my degree had at least been awarded. She looked it up and said yes. Incredible. I thought it would never happen. When I told her I was a Mass COMM major she said, "Oh, well we haven't even sent the diplomas to the printer for Mass COMM yet." Yep, the U. runs a really tight ship.

On Saturday, September 25, I came home from work and there was an envelope sitting on the front porch. Believe it or not, there really was a diploma in there. I was only required to go to college for four years and then spend an extra semester to convince them that I really had taken the classes their computer was showing them that I had. I think this was just the final test to see if I had learned enough throughout my college career about being an insignificant number in the system to really deserve a diploma. As Bad Religion once wrote, "Hooray for me and *$# you!"

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